Chicken Mechanics

Today for lunch I decided I wanted something both simple and quick. So, with little deliberation, I concluded I would nuke myself a hotdog. As I was grabbing this particularly juicy, grisly, dead-skin-colored piece of meat out of its' wrapper, I glanced over the ingredients (always check them so you know what's going in... because it potentially makes the going out easier). The first ingredient, however, caught my attention. It read as follows: "Mechanically separated chicken." Immediately I began to rampantly imagine an assembly line of live chickens being mechanically dismembered, shaved of their feathers, cut into pieces, thrown together with other equally as gruesome ingredients, smashed together, put in a plastic wrapper, labeled, taken to a store, and bought by my ever-so-naive mother. Afterall, how could she be so insensitive to purchase something made with mechanically separated chicken?! Ok, so maybe that's not the true scene. Nonetheless, why need they tell me that the chickens were mechanically separated? Does the fact it was mechanically separted disqualify it from being a regular chicken? According to this theory, if someone were to take off my head with a hairy spoon, it would no longer be just a head. Instead it would be a "hairy spoon removed head."

What if we started doing this with everything?

"Hey mom, look at that retarded-born-retard."

"Allen, I'd like you to meet my new friend accidentally-conceived-Timmy."

"Rebecca, you used to be gorgeous until you became a fist-punched-face."

This would be simply abominable and offensive. Shame on you hotdog companies...

Adieu.